The Fuck…Bad Doms?😴😣πŸ˜ͺπŸ€” *My Rant, After I Had One*


The question every newbie Dom asks: Do I want anything from domination? What do I want? Inevitable, sometimes, the mindset of confoundedness I welcome you to is…Dom Limbo. A sad place which produces a:

-Bad Dom Rant. From a Submissive Who Had A Dom Of This Type. This Doesn’t Equal All Doms. This is about a Newbie/or even Experienced Dom That Doesn’t Want to Acknowledge His Lack of Knowledge and Understanding of BDSM, its Extremely Distinct Relationship and Practice Basics, and Any Mistakes Not Knowing These Led To.

It is sad.

It is the newbie (or even experienced) male Dom who is:

  • so focused on fulfilling some role/ someone’s depiction or description of a role (maybe it’s the ‘provider’ instinct from his bloodline), that
  • he does not know what drew him to the Dom role in the first place, and
  • neither knows what he wants. It is sad.


So, here is the guide for figuring out what the fuck you want again, guys who are like my ex Dom. This guide is great for studying before, during, or even after a BDSM relationship takes place. Here are some things you’re maybe thinking or even forgot you had even thought about when you decided to string a submissive along on your elbow proudly but also elusively, not knowing what you really signed her up for.

  1. You want to fuck.
Acknowledge that particular kink…

How do you want to fuck? Do you want it kinky? Soft? Painful? Power-filled? Subjugated and delivered to you on a fucking silver platter? Make up your mind, mortal. Unless you’re a switch, and want it both ways. And Acknowledge that particular kink, too!


2. You want fucking respect.

Or is your ego or trust so fragile…?

Why? Do your siblings talk down to you at home? You don’t feel strong enough unless someone tells you that you are strong? Do you want to complete trust? Does that equal no back-sass, or a sub having enough trust that they’ll back-sass and yet know that they will be put in their place so they back-sass anyways for you to confirm again and again how powerful you are? Are you into being toyed with, since you can claim back that respect really swiftly? Or is your ego or trust so fragile that your respect needs to be locked up in a heart padlock upon your sub’s neck, secure, stable, and unchallenged, or else you feel disrespected?

3. You want to control.

Do you feel control is…never attainable? Is this why you play as a Dom – for the feel of control that you know you don’t and won’t have?

Is it because it makes you feel stable? Does control mean you are in such control that you know your sub is doing her day-to-day with you in mind? Do you need physical reminders of that? Mementos, diaries, pictures, vids, phone calls, scheduled texts? Do you feel control is earned, inherited with the title, or never attainable? Is this why you role play as a Dom – for the feel of control that you know you don’t and won’t have in real life over another person? And how do you want your sub to perform that?

4. You want fucking resolve.

You just want to know things and put your partner in a place for you to learn – that is, to learn them.

You want a girl or guy or another person to actually bear their heart to you. You are tired of lies and shells of invulnerability. You want that person raw, spread out in front of you. Hands tied behind their back. Vulnerable to your touch. Staring right where you want them to stare…or to not stare because they are blindfolded…letting their senses surrender to your touch and their uncertainty, letting you play with their mind? Do you want to know how a person really feels, and really reacts under your touch? Do you want to help them reach their desired limits, unfathomable goals are important to them and that becomes fathomed in your presence…just because? Or…of course, they are now fathomed because you want, in your deepest parts, to be a part of something you understand, you watch like prey, you dissect like a science project. You just want to know things and put your partner in a place for you to learn – that is, to learn them. And you will manipulate the facts for your own pleasure and theirs.

5. It seemed cool.

Fuck off.

Fuck off. This lifestyle is a little deeper than that, in that case of wanting to start role-ing BDSM. Remember that answer next time you say you want to date. Attracting people to you and carrying their heart seems cool, too, I guess.

Readers, patient, and kind, subs and Doms alike, who are all imperfect and make mistakes and sometimes need a wake-up from them…

  • See ya in the next post, written by
  • an angry sub that is tired of Doms not knowing what the hell they want.

P.S. The lifestyle is not the place to learn it. You only access roles of authority like the role of Dom once you’ve already gotten the education. Unfortunately, do all this soul searching and research BEFORE you become an actual Dom, or I swear to my Huwaei tablet that I am writing this on that I will jump through my screen to your screen and give you a boxers-wedgie.

P.S. The lifestyle is not the place to learn it.

Yes, you, Mr. Fucker.



Thnx for reading! Here’s SomethingΒ  Else You Might Want To Read:

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Photo by Designecologist on

Brief, General DDLG/Regression Knowledge Disclaimer: These are my opinions from my experience as a sub/little, but please do not think that you should do any of this or take my advice if you want to take steps towards being a happy and healthy sub. My way is only one way. Only follow this by your own volition/risk if you like my advice, lol, and agree with my perspective on the D/s lifestyle, and don’t mind where my ideas may take you. Thanks!


5 thoughts on “The Fuck…Bad Doms?😴😣πŸ˜ͺπŸ€” *My Rant, After I Had One*

  1. Great post! While I was reading your post, it felt like I was looking at a mirror and seeing the mistakes I did reflected back upon me. Personally, I think you summed it up nicely about the sin I am most guilty of: Not knowing what I wanted.

    I thought, I would do just fine with the limited knowledge about the lifestyle I have, and that I would make things up as they came along. I was arrogant that I didn’t need to dive into literature or seek to educate myself. I would constantly mix proper techniques that I heard or learned about with actions that are conflicting. Ultimately, it lead to frustration and misunderstandings.

    They say hindsight is 20/20, and I agree. So I reflected hard, really hard. Similar to a professional sports coach studying their team’s replays. Day after day I looked back on each and every action I did – what did I do wrong? What could I have done better? My Eureka moment happened when I realized I had no clue what I really wanted out of the relationship. The problem was ME, I wasn’t ready. I was trying to be a copy of someone else’s idea of what a Dom should be like.

    So, I studied up on literature like crazy, reading and consuming knowledge (still am). Now, I’m experimenting. Asking questions. Connecting with others in the lifestyle. My hunger for knowledge is back and I want to take it all in. Each day I have a better understanding of myself. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Unfortunately with the advent of the internet and the access to the lifestyle through it there are a lot of doms that use bdsm more as a dateing Avenue than put in the work to be a real dom. Dont get me wrong.. it’s just as bad on the sub side as well. There are lots of β€œlittles” out there who are not really littles but are just looking for a suger daddy to support them not a dd/lg dynamic. I have been in the lifestyle for a long time and have met a lot of good and bad doms. But I will tell you… good daddy doms are rare as Hen’s teeth. Being a good dom is a lot of work. Being a good daddy dom is double that of a normal dom. Littles simply need a lot more care because by definition they are not as self sufficient as an average submissive.
    Whew… lol. That was a mini rant! Sorry bout that but bad doms annoy the crap out of me.😏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol. I love rants! Yours definitely describes why there are so many bad doms out there. It does take a lot of work. and any good or bad dom would admit to that right away. Some doms take it and run with it and some neglect it 😡 Yeah, submissives feel the need to be guided, and so can sometimes not be responsible within their own role’s functions. Fake subs that literally want all get and no give…hmm…>> They should really stop using the lifestyle to get what they want. It’s okay to want that, but the D/s relationship is not the place to find it. Even slaves must be given care. If anything, they seem to be on the sugar baby/findom level, and maybe just sugar baby, because fin doms also have duties to commit to for their pay pigs. And being the sugar baby for a sugar daddy doesn’t come without its requirements, too. Nobody really wants to give for free. That’s uber rare and unsustainable.


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