Picking and Choosing 💛👈💜👉💙

 

 

-Picking ❤ And ❤ Choosing-

What Daddy A Little Will Need Depends…

Doms are like candy – you never know which one you are going to get when the world decides to give some of them to you.

The best part of this is that we don’t have to eat every single damned piece of candy. And I am so glad that we can choose.

Here are the extreme psychological profiles of a “little”, be they role-played or not. They sway between an anxious psychology and a stubborn, more confident (aka bratty) profile. Some examples of traits of those profiles (which are the extremes of a whole personality spectrum) are –

Anxious:

• Asking for permission even past the boundaries needed for a BDSM relationship
• Always worrying she is not good enough
• Needing Daddy like she needs water. The thought of her Daddy takes up most of her life, and not having him crushes her. She does not have the same feeling of independence and freedom that she feels with her Daddy when he is gone.

Confident and Stubborn:

• Wants Daddy to acknowledge the things she already knows about herself
• Desires Daddy to be proud
• Needs Daddy to prove himself
• Tests everything Daddy says about himself and his promises
• Gives Daddy equal to what he gives her
• Needs attention and a neutral, honest attitude towards herself and her abilities
• Needs Daddy’s trust and his word
• Needs Daddy to be consistent

There is a few more on the latter list because the confident little knows more about what she wants than an anxious little who struggles to form a structure of belief. Anxious littles react, not proact, and this is thanks to the complexity and space which fear takes up in their constant thought processes.

“…there is the distinct little that is in the middle”. Photo by Fillipe Gomes on Pexels.com

The Specifics of Your Ideal Relationship That You May Not Have Chosen

A confident little will relate to her Dom in confidence, and most of her struggles will be had with the butting heads of her belief system and his, and his percieved confidence in her and her systems, rather than the persistent and unrelated haphazard worries and the lack of a belief system that plague the anxious little. The confident little thus always needs her Dom to be aware of her beliefs and also where he himself stands on issues she faces. She needs to know his honest opinion and see if it meshes with hers at the core. Otherwise, her confidence will be hacked at the longer she and her Dom disapprove on core issues. Smaller disagreements taunt and boost her ego, however, and she is confident enough to not be hugely threatened by them. And she will instead embrace them (and her partner’s position in them).

And of course, there is the distinct little that is in the middle. Those are the tamest ones yet (supposedly). The ones that are probably yes-men to their Doms and show the least resistance to their rules, because they feel strongly toward neither rule nor display of thoughts as exhibited by the anxious and confident types. There will be another post for you guys, but this post will teach you more about the extremes you chose to not delve into. At the core of these personalities are their own pros and cons, and neither is bad or good as a personality, not at all. They are just personality styles. But the main idea is –

At the core, both little I’ve specified types need security. [Even the middle-of-the-personality-spectrum littles.] They get it in different forms, but the need for it is there. And that is why choosing the Daddy that they would prefer is the best thing for them – if they knew how to chose. But confident littles that don’t have a good grasp on who they should bond with tend to chose ‘yes men’ rather than people that will actually challenge them and make them have edifying discomforts, and anxious little of the same unaware status tend to go for the partner that will enhance their anxiety to higher levels rather than smash the levels where they stand.

“Feel free to agree to disagree”. Photo by Daria Sannikova on Pexels.com

Disclaimers Towards Continuing To Read My Piece

So, if you know already what man you should choose to “adopt” as a little, this post is not for you. And if you feel that I am wrong, this post is not for you, either. Feel free to agree to disagree, because the way you go about choosing your Dom is very important and your business. This post is for people who vibe with my beliefs regarding this topic…And so the following advice will be for such an audience.

Now, people can be somewhere on the spectrum between anxious and confident – in fact, some people can have one profile for behavior, another one for thought processing, and maybe even a disorder under one profile (but I haven’t the slightest idea of a confidence disorder…maybe overconfidence, maybe? Don’t quote me.) So if you feel you don’t fit those traits to their extremes, or maybe that you are a more neutral person in general, if you think you are actually worse, or if you think you have a mixed up profile as a little, don’t worry. These are simply ranges, sweetheart!

And if you want to choose a Daddy that will not out your profile out of whack or aggravate it in a negative sense, then I have a few relationship tips for you. In fact, these may seem like dating or marriage tips. Maybe our whole world revolves around relationships, that’s why.

“This is instead of acknowledging them and embracing the truth they inject into their lives, thoughts, and experiences”. Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

Honestly, Start First By Choosing Some Specific Mistakes You Made in Your Past

You do you is what people say, but what if you don’t like you, or you know that you are prone to misstepping and so you are not the best idea? What if you would rather be the best for you? Well, anxious and confident profiles have their own belief structures, so they won’t go about it the same way, but in a way that makes them feel the best and secure individually.

So, they are bound to have mistakes. Anxious people tend to ignore their anxieties because of the overwhelming nature of them. This is instead of acknowledging them and embracing the truth they inject into their lives, thoughts, and experiences. This means that they separate their experience and thoughts from their anxieties. This gives them a lack of identity and originality for the thoughts and no belief system on which to base them and makes them confused about the concerns of others on their lives and the way they function. Anxious types become numb to the existence of their anxieties and thus numb to how they are behaving in response. They disassociate so hard that they do not seek help. They think that ignoring their issues with anxiety means the anxiety is gone and now they can iron out their lives like normal people who also do not have anxieties.

The best way to deal with this repression as an anxious little, now, is to be open with your Daddy – if your Daddy is a safe and trustworthy and comfy person to be open to. So, go about making a standard for your Daddy in order for him to be the best Daddy for you. You as a little will not have all the answers, so trust your Daddy and have him to do the same to help you become the best little you can be for him.

This goes the same for confident littles. The only difference is where they struggle in regards to an anxious little. Anxious littles may not like to ask for help when they need it, but would be open to it when they are able to open up themselves. Confident littles have no inner desire to ask for help, because they feel they must know all the answers or else their self-image would be less than it is, because there would no longer be any concrete beliefs and perspectives to base it off of.  But that type of thinking has a mistake inherent in itself.  Again, no one, not even a confident person, and especially not a little who thrives off guidance from her Daddy and not just herself, knows everything. The confident little must learn that she does not know everything about herself either. And she must be open to guidance and advice that could edify her beyond the hearty, infallible answers gilding her even more infallible heart. She has to learn that even she is not perfect and even she has fallacies just waiting to be accepted and worked on with someone she loves.

“transparency and choosing the right guy who listens and yet also positively challenges the little and her perspective on life”. Photo by V P on Pexels.com

Then Do Something About It

To sum, both the anxious and the more confident little both need to chose a Dom they feel safe to be open with. That way, the Dom can do his job to give the littles what needs they present with. But regardless where a little is on this cliche and typical spectrum I created to describe two extremes of being little and their relationships to independence, as a reference point for people to acknowledge their needs…without a Dom, a little cannot be a little. And without a little, a Dom cannot be a proper Dom. It is a symbiotic relationship! That’s my belief. Now, regarding regression, being little is possible without a Dom: it’s not inherently a D/s relationship. But my point is here, with transparency and choosing the right guy who listens and yet also positively challenges the little and her perspective on life…the little can be on the road to being in a successful and fulfilling D/s relationship. But of course picking and choosing is only the first step.

 

Thnx! Here’s Something You Might Want To Read:

Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Brief, General DDLG/Regression Knowledge Disclaimer: These are my opinions from my experience as a sub/little, but please do not think that you should do any of this or take my advice if you want to take steps towards being a happy and healthy sub. My way is only one way. Only follow this by your own volition/risk if you like my advice, lol, and agree with my perspective on the D/s lifestyle, and don’t mind where my ideas may take you. Thanks!